PDA Children & the Power of Low Demand Parenting with Amanda Diekman
TIMELINE & LINKS/RESOURCES
01:38 Understanding Autistic Burnout
03:54 The Birth of Low Demand Parenting
07:09 What is PDA?
12:17 Challenges of Parenting PDA Children
19:40 Implementing Low Demand Parenting
24:07 Personal Experiences and Insights
26:56 Understanding Low Demand Parenting
28:21 The Metaphor of Physical Therapy
30:46 Teaching Kids to Recognize Limits
33:54 Practical Examples of Low Demand Parenting
39:33 Adapting Communication for Neurodivergent Kids
47:49 Creating a Neuro Positive Future
49:49 Resources and Final Thoughts
CLICK HERE TO GET AMANDA’S FREE RESOURCE: The “Drop or Not” Framework
PDA Children & the Power of Low Demand Parenting
Welcome to the Neuro Positive Podcast blog, an affirming space that celebrates neurodivergence in every form. In our latest episode, I'm your host, Phyllis Brane, as we explore the transformative concept of low demand parenting, alongside our inspiring guest, Amanda Deen, widely known as Low Demand Amanda.
Amanda Diekman’s Journey as a Late-Diagnosed Autistic Mother
Amanda Deen, a late-diagnosed autistic PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) adult and mother of three neurodivergent children, shares her remarkable journey of self-discovery and resilience. Her path to understanding began during a period of extreme difficulty, navigating her middle child's autistic burnout. This experience eventually led her to her diagnosis and the realization of her children's neurodivergent traits.
The Birth of Low Demand Parenting
Facing the overwhelming challenges of parenting, Amanda turned to therapeutic writing, which resulted in her book, "Low Demand Parenting." The book outlines a revolutionary approach focused on letting go of non-essential demands to nurture trusting connections. Amanda's vision is to relieve the fear of letting go within parenting, encouraging a relationship built on trust and respect rather than control and rigidity.
What is PDA?
PDA, or Pathological Demand Avoidance, now often referred to as Pervasive Drive for Autonomy, is a neurodivergent profile emerging in research as distinct from typical autism. It is characterized by extreme responses to perceived demands, often manifesting in panic or aggression. Amanda articulates how understanding these traits can help redefine parenting strategies to accommodate children's unique needs.
Implementing Low Demand Strategies
Amanda emphasizes the shift from traditional parenting tools, which may fail with PDA children, advocating instead for a low demand approach. This involves recognizing 'hard' versus 'too hard' tasks and adjusting expectations accordingly. By creating an environment where children feel less burdened by demands, they can thrive in their surroundings and establish healthy autonomy.
Overcoming Challenges
Parents who adopt low demand parenting often wrestle with fears of inadequate parenting or societal judgment. Amanda reassures that letting go doesn't equate to leniency or neglect. Instead, it's about fostering an environment where children learn to balance responsibilities within their capabilities. Through this, they not only gain self-trust but also develop empathy and community-awareness.
Tools for Success
For those new to the low demand paradigm, Amanda introduces practical tools, like switching from verbal instructions to visual cues or writing notes, which can alleviate pressure from direct inquiries. These small adjustments honor the child's need for autonomy while framing communication in a non-threatening way.
A Vision for the Future
Amanda envisions a neuro positive future where low demand accommodations are as common as sensory aids in public places. By mainstreaming such strategies, society could better cater to the diverse needs of individuals with neurodivergent profiles, fostering inclusivity and understanding.
Closing Thoughts
The conversation with Amanda highlights a pivotal shift in parenting philosophies, advocating for a world where letting go is valued as much as holding on. By trusting ourselves and our children, we pave the way for a more compassionate, empathetic society.
To learn more about Amanda's work and explore her full conversation with me, Phyllis Brane, listen to our latest podcast episode or find Amanda at Low Demand Amanda across social media platforms.
Thank you for being a part of this journey towards a neuro positive future. For detailed notes on this episode and further resources, please visit neuropositivepodcast.com. If you found this article helpful, consider subscribing to our podcast and leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. Your support helps amplify the message of neuro positivity to a wider audience.
Let's continue the conversation. See you soon!